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Her voice is flat, her head bowed, and her year-old feet swing nervously above the concrete floor. I felt dizzy. But there was no respite there — Zoudam is an orphan and her aunt beat her for causing trouble. Later, she kicked her out, and Zoudam now lives with an evangelist.
Asked if she was scared when the rebel appeared from behind a bush and grabbed her, Zoudam nods. Are you frightened of men now? She nods again. Many girls were raped, and girls and boys joined militias during a seemingly sectarian conflict that broadly pitted Muslims against Christians and animists, but that is more fundamentally rooted in economic and political exclusion and regional interference after decades of misgovernance and instability.
To say that children fought in armed groups barely hints at the horror of what happened in the thick forests that cover this land. He thought joining them would bring peace. But then his father decided to return home to check on his cattle. He was shot in the thigh, and Monwen came out of hiding to bring him back to the relative safety of the bush. His father recovered and, fired by a desire for revenge, Monwen set off to join the anti-balaka, carrying the homemade rifle that he used to hunt game.
I looked for the anti-balaka for two weeks. I found them in the bush near the river. I fought [for] them. I killed. I fought to avenge my father. I killed to avenge my father. Christian faith and belief in fetishes, or gris-gris , co-exist comfortably here and this anomaly hints at the complexity of a conflict that is about much more than religion. Today, the teenagers display few visible signs of trauma, but Pulcherie Damaris, a counsellor with the Association of Evangelical Women of Bossangoa , says many have been profoundly marked.
The association works with UK-based charity War Child to provide child-friendly spaces — which help children return to a normal routine by offering structured activities, games and informal education — and to reunite families.